shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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