i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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