Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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