haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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