I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
