actually, I'm a sock model
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
