i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
