i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I checked into jail on foursquare
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
