You can't special order awesome
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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