I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
