And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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