I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize