i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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