So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize