Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize