He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
