turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dignity is for republicans.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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