Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
