Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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