So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
