I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
