Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
