Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
