I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
