Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm at about main and main street
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
