I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
