i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
