Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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