just survived the first fart of the relationship.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
