Don't you send me to vm
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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