I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
