ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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