where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Two words: blizzard sex
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
