3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
there was a trapeze. enough said
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
