they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
