Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
