my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize