Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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