you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
