I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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