Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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