go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
