Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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