you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
