To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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