I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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