Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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