Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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