found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
