so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
