I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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