Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
