No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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