you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
