It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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