This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
