Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dick very happy bro
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
