i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
