Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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