I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize