If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
