That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
