I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
